John Tortarella… Genius or Jackass?

This post was originally written on May 17, 2012 on the original

I’m sorry… if you are part of a sports team, a player, coach, owner, you have a responsibility to speak with the media.  It’s an obligation and part of your job.  There are sometimes where it is a really  bad defeat, or the media might go too far with certain questions… I get that… You need to be savvy enough to get around those questions.

According to the book of John Tortarella… not only can you give one word answers… but you can be a total douche about it.  I’ve praised him in previous posts with his passion and tenacity… I still think he is a great coach and those are great qualities to have towards your players and during the game (to a point).  When the game is over, and you have decompressed, and the media asks you a simple question as “what areas do you want your team to improve in,”  and you answer “I’ll keep that in the locker room…”  that’s a dick move.  They did not ask you a question that is going to sell out your team.  They asked you what you need to change…

Once again I understand there are certain questions the media wants to hear that you simply cannot answer.  When it comes to injuries, mum is the word.  When it comes to private conversations to your team on the bench or in the locker room… I get it… be vague or use your free pass on that one… but there is no need to be a jack ass EVERY TIME.

If your team got their asses handed to them and you are pissed off… you can be a little short.  You are passionate.  It shows you care.  Rock n roll dude that’s fine… but there are games when the Rangers played a hard-fought game, dominated, won, and he still gives his childish one word answers… you know who does that… my four-year old nephew when he is in trouble.  ”Antonio, what did you do?”… “nothing”… “Well who wrote on the wall with crayon?”… “I dunno.”

So apparently we have established that John Tortarella is one of the following:

  • A man with the vernacular of a four-year old
  • A big bag of douche who is trying to give off the presence of “bad ass coach”

Say what you will… give your opinions on the matter… but after watching the latest post game interview, there was no need for him to be short on the majority of the questions.  The media sometimes has a difficult time thinking of thought provoking questions. (for any of you reading this that are in education, the media missed out on the Bloom’s Taxonomy lesson).  My favorite questions are “You just scored the game winning goal… tell us about how you feel.”…. I wish one day the player would turn around and say… “like a dick…”

Here is a transcript of the post game interview… if you have to be somewhere in 30 seconds, you have all the time in the world to read it…

Q- Coach it looked liked you had them, and then it slipped away.  What went wrong?

Torts – A number of things stan… I’ll keep it in the room.

Q- John, can you just talk about the decision to sit Gaborik down in the third.

Torts – No… no…

Q- John, did you feel that this was the kind of effort you would have needed to win this game?

Torts – No.

Q- Are you dissapointed that in this showing after you had an effort in Washington…

Torts – I answered your first question… no.

Q- Do you need to see more from certain guys who didnt play as much as they normally did?  Is there not enough effort, results… everything?

Torts – You need to improve as a hockey team every game.

Q – What areas would you like to see better?

Torts – I’m gonna keep it in the room Stan.

Then he gets up and leaves.

I am waiting for the day that someone asks him a question, and he answers it with a riddle.

In order to get some answers from me, you’ll have to answer these riddles three…

1. What number five has four cups, but at MSG they still say he sucks?

2. What hockey coach is an ulimate douche, but in any language he’ll say Ferme La bouche?

3. We may have gotten four, but we will not win some more, how can we be your pick, we couldn’t beat five as an original six!

In conclusion, John you are not being loyal to your team, you are coming off as an egotistical child.  Im surprised they dont have a full length mirror on the bench so you can just bask in your unbelievable glory.


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